Tuesday, July 28, 2009

First Post Introduction + YouTube Is Shit

Hello there. Seeing as this is my very first blog post I'm assuming that by reading it you either have no life whatsoever or I forced you to read this shit... Well now that the big introduction is over, time to listen to my problems. Have fun and if you don’t enjoy it - good.

I have spent countless hours of my life procrastinating important tasks to view videos on the God of all online video sites, YouTube. Whether it be some hot chick talking into a camera about something I could give two shits about but is fun to stare at, or some kook yelling profanities at his cats, or even some annoying kid who enjoys speeding up his voice while talking about seemingly nothing, just to piss me off (something I’ll be delving into at a later date) the exciting times are endless when on YouTube.

Well… not any fucking more they aren't. The genius’s at YouTube have decided in the past few months to expand their advertising space to cover the fucking video I am trying to watch...... WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING!?!? I know a lot of other video sites try this strategy because they aren’t as well known and need to be creative with their ad space, but even YouTube, the Zeus of all shitty video sites has now joined the fuck-o club.

Here’s a perfect example of what I am talking about. Today I decided to have a glimpse at the popular video section on YouTube to see what shitty eye wrenching garbage America is watching. One of the first videos was entitled “COMIC-CON is CRAZY!” Being that the “CRAZY” was all in caps and followed by an exclamation mark, I decided to strap in because I could tell this video was going be a hoot. I could hardly hold in the excitement. However, a few seconds into the video one of those piece of shit advertisements rose up, seemingly from the depths of hell telling me to go buy some Britney Spears tickets. In a haste to throw my concentration back towards the video, I went to press the tiniest “x” I have seen in the history of computer / Internet use ever, but instead ended up clicking on the “Ads by Google” link strategically placed right next to it. This opened up a completely different window for me, and guess what happened when I went back to the video??? THE FUCKING ADVERTISEMENT WAS STILL SITTING THERE, STARING ME IN THE FACE, MOCKING ME. SO NOT ONLY DID I HAVE TO CLOSE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WINDOW DOWN… I HAD TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN BY ATTEMPTING TO PRESS THE TINIEST MIDGET OF ALL INTERNET “X”s EVER.

I know what it was thinking too. “Hey you piece of shit! I know you’re not going to buy Britney Spears tickets, but I just want to ruin your whole video watching experience by sitting here taking a dump on the screen! Have fun and go to hell you fuck wad!”

So instead of attempting to deal with the Ad I decided to say fuck it, lost all interest in the video, and went to go watch some porn instead.

Does YouTube not understand they are ruining the one and only thing they sell? It is like if I bought a book and every few seconds an ad rose up from the bottom of the pages to mock me. It would drive me, you, and everyone else f’ing nuts.

Here’s a little bit of props to another site that hasn’t gone down the fuck-o route at break.com who seem to be one of the few video sites left without horrible ad use. I really hope YouTube can change their advertising policy when whatever excuse they are using for it wears out, but until then go screw.

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